When my eldest son was just a wee babe in my arms I knew deep within my mothers heart that something was a miss,there was no fooling me.Don't worry the doctors said there is only a 3% chance that IT will be carried on by your son,you are nursing him feel safe in that.
No one knew that I would have this amazing child that was every throw back gene in our family tree.So blond,blue eyes who stole their color form the sky,so tall and slender. A child who IS the meaning of his name.Issac means laughter because long ago Sarah, who waited so long for a child laughed as her Isaac was born.
Don't worry the doctors kept saying to me but how can one turn off the worry that comes from deep inside.That place in us all that KNOWS. That place that houses a mothers insight.The place that KNOWS the mothers child like no one else.A mother knows these things.
My son is that 3% chance,two years ago Issac was diagnosed with Crohn's disease a hereditary autoimmune disorder that has no cure.Ranked with Aids and Cancer. Painful,a thief and heart breaking.
When Issac was diagnosed I thought I would die,melt into a puddle upon the floor.My poor darling boy sobbed my heart,I did this to you. I have Crohn's too,I knew what he was in for.Is it not every mothers goal to spare her children any hurt or harm? It was my fault,the guilt of it was going to kill me.
But I said Issac is an amazing child that 3% kid, a rare child indeed. Issac saw me about to melt into a sobbing puddle upon the floor and what that child said gave me such courage and strength to carry on."It's ok Mama, You have it and have learned to live with it and so can I." How could I fall apart with such brave words in my ears?
Last year we spent many weeks at the hospital with Issac,Many hours waiting for surgery to be over,for him to open his blue blue eyes and waiting to come home again. His surgery was major but he brought with him to the hospital his laughter and shared it with everyone he met."It's going to be alright!" he would say to everyone.Laughter really is an inspiring medicine and works wonders.
A year ago Issac was home recooping waiting for the second part of his surgery. During that time Issac came up with a phrase he and I use together.A little moment of checking in and saying it's all going to be alright. Issac's phrase- "Crohnies " a bad pun in some ways but it is what we are Crohnies.
Now today my son lies on the sofa finally getting some much needed sleep.He's not well and we return to the doctors later this afternoon.Seeing him hurt, hurts my mothers heart.Today the guilt is eating away at me.But for my son I am brave as I quietly pack my book, water bottle,chrage my phone and call the neighbor for back up/stand by help with our younger son. Hopefully all of my preparedness will not be needed for another stay at the hospital.Hopefully me and my Crohnie will be home by supper time settling in to our everyday routine.
I love you little man,my baby in the blue bunny jammies,my Crohnie.
Love Mama.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Mary Iguana
The summer I was 7 our house burned in a fire.Not the whole house just the upper floor.Luckily for me I was not home that night.The fire started in my brothers room right next to mine,by the time he discovered the fire my room was burning too.
My brother quickly awoke my mother and they got out safe and sound.My mother later pondered how she remembered to grab her purse.A sight she must have been standing at the neighbors curb in her summer nightgown,purse on her arm and her face lit by her burning house.All the while our cranky neighbor was nagging her about the mess this was causing and when would she clean up.It was the crazy ,drug dealing, biker neighbor who came to the rescue,called the fire department,brought blankets and called my aunt. Never over look a biker when you are in need, a family motto that works even when you have a flat tire.
Also some place in those chaotic moments the dog,cat and the schools iguana were all found and kept safe. Yup, I said Iguana and this is her tale or maybe it's mine about the summer she lived with us.
My mom could be easy going about animals and never said no to any of them.Not the baby opossum,the snake I lost in the house,mice or any other beast. So when my brother came to her pleading to keep the iguana for the summer,the iguana no other parent would say yes to of course our mother said yes. If she only knew the summer we were about to have I wonder would she have said yes? Hindsight it would be so much more useful if, it was really foresight.
Growing up my parents were hippies of their own kind.I grew up knowing what marijuana was and even offered our neighbor a joint at the tender age of 4.Little did I know that well, you offer neighbors coffee or tea not pot. I also had the habit of confusing words for each other.(maybe it was my parents pot that did it I don't know.)For example in our kitchen we had wall paper with chickens and cottages on it.Ok in my mind kitchen and chicken were switchable,we had both after all.And then there was cottage and cottage cheese.Silly grown ups it's cottage cheese house. So you get it right?
This all led to my naming the iguana Mary. As in Marijuana - Mary Iguana it made sense in my head and it got lots of chuckles so it must have been good.
Life with Mary was an adventure.My mother should have been a founder of an animal rights group,"cages are so unfair" she'd say,"would you like to live in your room and never come out?" Well no mom, not really.So Mary would be let out of her cage to roam the living room. She loved to lie on the back of the sofa slightly hidden by the pillows,basking in the sun like any lizard would do.Here's the tricky part to this,before you sat down you had to check for Mary.If you did not you'd get a whip of her sharp tail across your unsuspecting face. Ever see a photo of an iguana's tail? They have those little ridges on them like the cartoon dino's do and they hurt.
Mary also shredded the curtains.Hanging out on the rods was another, safer, spot she like to be.Mom had five million plants in front of the window perfect lizard hang out,up high,sun is shinning and vegetation galore.
Then our house burned 4 weeks into Mary's visit.Where did we go while the house was rebuilt? A motel,A single room,my mom,my brother,Mary and me. (the dog and cat stayed with my aunt.) Once the maids found out exactly what was in that cage in the corner only one of them would dare to come in to clean.Charming, visitors who scare the hell out of the staff. I think at this point my mother had snapped out of her animal rights fog because Mary stayed in her cage the whole time we lived at the motel. I don't think mom ever caught wind of the day she was out and I had to talk my brother out of taking Mary to the motel pool with us.
Summer did end and my brother and I returned to our schools. Later on I went to the middle school my brother went to and they still had the Living Lab ( Not a Lab for experiments more like a big pet shop.We lived in the inner city and someone got the idea inner city kids needed to know about all these creatures.) with all these animals that most sane parents say no to.The teacher remembered our family,who would not? Hey,it's the sucker family who took the iguana home for the summer ! Great way to be remembered. I never once stepped a foot in the door of that room.No way, no how was I going to bring home anything for any amount of time.Besides Mary was gone her replacement Julius Squeezer the 10 foot long Boa.Could you imagine my mother and her thoughts on animals in cages? I loved my cat and wanted to keep him not provide Julius a snack.
My brother quickly awoke my mother and they got out safe and sound.My mother later pondered how she remembered to grab her purse.A sight she must have been standing at the neighbors curb in her summer nightgown,purse on her arm and her face lit by her burning house.All the while our cranky neighbor was nagging her about the mess this was causing and when would she clean up.It was the crazy ,drug dealing, biker neighbor who came to the rescue,called the fire department,brought blankets and called my aunt. Never over look a biker when you are in need, a family motto that works even when you have a flat tire.
Also some place in those chaotic moments the dog,cat and the schools iguana were all found and kept safe. Yup, I said Iguana and this is her tale or maybe it's mine about the summer she lived with us.
My mom could be easy going about animals and never said no to any of them.Not the baby opossum,the snake I lost in the house,mice or any other beast. So when my brother came to her pleading to keep the iguana for the summer,the iguana no other parent would say yes to of course our mother said yes. If she only knew the summer we were about to have I wonder would she have said yes? Hindsight it would be so much more useful if, it was really foresight.
Growing up my parents were hippies of their own kind.I grew up knowing what marijuana was and even offered our neighbor a joint at the tender age of 4.Little did I know that well, you offer neighbors coffee or tea not pot. I also had the habit of confusing words for each other.(maybe it was my parents pot that did it I don't know.)For example in our kitchen we had wall paper with chickens and cottages on it.Ok in my mind kitchen and chicken were switchable,we had both after all.And then there was cottage and cottage cheese.Silly grown ups it's cottage cheese house. So you get it right?
This all led to my naming the iguana Mary. As in Marijuana - Mary Iguana it made sense in my head and it got lots of chuckles so it must have been good.
Life with Mary was an adventure.My mother should have been a founder of an animal rights group,"cages are so unfair" she'd say,"would you like to live in your room and never come out?" Well no mom, not really.So Mary would be let out of her cage to roam the living room. She loved to lie on the back of the sofa slightly hidden by the pillows,basking in the sun like any lizard would do.Here's the tricky part to this,before you sat down you had to check for Mary.If you did not you'd get a whip of her sharp tail across your unsuspecting face. Ever see a photo of an iguana's tail? They have those little ridges on them like the cartoon dino's do and they hurt.
Mary also shredded the curtains.Hanging out on the rods was another, safer, spot she like to be.Mom had five million plants in front of the window perfect lizard hang out,up high,sun is shinning and vegetation galore.
Then our house burned 4 weeks into Mary's visit.Where did we go while the house was rebuilt? A motel,A single room,my mom,my brother,Mary and me. (the dog and cat stayed with my aunt.) Once the maids found out exactly what was in that cage in the corner only one of them would dare to come in to clean.Charming, visitors who scare the hell out of the staff. I think at this point my mother had snapped out of her animal rights fog because Mary stayed in her cage the whole time we lived at the motel. I don't think mom ever caught wind of the day she was out and I had to talk my brother out of taking Mary to the motel pool with us.
Summer did end and my brother and I returned to our schools. Later on I went to the middle school my brother went to and they still had the Living Lab ( Not a Lab for experiments more like a big pet shop.We lived in the inner city and someone got the idea inner city kids needed to know about all these creatures.) with all these animals that most sane parents say no to.The teacher remembered our family,who would not? Hey,it's the sucker family who took the iguana home for the summer ! Great way to be remembered. I never once stepped a foot in the door of that room.No way, no how was I going to bring home anything for any amount of time.Besides Mary was gone her replacement Julius Squeezer the 10 foot long Boa.Could you imagine my mother and her thoughts on animals in cages? I loved my cat and wanted to keep him not provide Julius a snack.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Like Max
Have you ever had one of those days when the world is a place you'd like to step away from? I am having one of those days and when those days hit I start dreaming.
I have been dreaming about the book "Where the Wild Things Are" I am sure you know the one.Where Max is sent to bed and he sails away in a boat to an island full of fun loving monsters.
For just a little while I'd like to be Max who sailed away for awhile and then returned to find all was fine at home.
Before I sail away across the sea I ponder this.Is being sent to your room such a bad thing?All of your "stuff" is there.I'd actually like to be sent to my room for you see that's where I keep the books I am reading.While reading I can sink into the world of my book and return when I hear the all clear bell.
I could sail across some sea like Max.I have a friend with a boat that looks like Max's boat. A small wooden affair with a sail of cloth,I am sure he lend it to me."I won't be gone long" I'd say to the friend as I drifted on the tides.
Today I would not like to land on an isle of monsters,I am running away from the monster who's name today is "Life" so no monsters.How about an island that looks like Max's with palm tree groves and sand? On that place of solitude there could be a hut waiting for me.I'd like it to be just a platform with a palm frond roof,no walls so I can catch the breeze. A hammock sways as it hangs from the rafters gently rocking my latest book to be read.
Laying in the hammock,book in hand I slip into a blissful, restful spot.The hands of a clock turn as I turn the pages of my book,the page numbers growing and the hour later.My mind is empty of cares and I think of Max.
Towards the end of the book Max starts to miss home and knowing me I would too. I will have to climb back into the little boat and sail for home; across the waves with the wind to keep me company. The boat could land me at the foot of my bed with a smile on my face I'll step from the boat and know I have returned to home and life with a lower case "L"
G o ahead and send me to my room today,I'll be just fine there with my books and dreams of sailing off to ditant shores to my island with no monsters.
I have been dreaming about the book "Where the Wild Things Are" I am sure you know the one.Where Max is sent to bed and he sails away in a boat to an island full of fun loving monsters.
For just a little while I'd like to be Max who sailed away for awhile and then returned to find all was fine at home.
Before I sail away across the sea I ponder this.Is being sent to your room such a bad thing?All of your "stuff" is there.I'd actually like to be sent to my room for you see that's where I keep the books I am reading.While reading I can sink into the world of my book and return when I hear the all clear bell.
I could sail across some sea like Max.I have a friend with a boat that looks like Max's boat. A small wooden affair with a sail of cloth,I am sure he lend it to me."I won't be gone long" I'd say to the friend as I drifted on the tides.
Today I would not like to land on an isle of monsters,I am running away from the monster who's name today is "Life" so no monsters.How about an island that looks like Max's with palm tree groves and sand? On that place of solitude there could be a hut waiting for me.I'd like it to be just a platform with a palm frond roof,no walls so I can catch the breeze. A hammock sways as it hangs from the rafters gently rocking my latest book to be read.
Laying in the hammock,book in hand I slip into a blissful, restful spot.The hands of a clock turn as I turn the pages of my book,the page numbers growing and the hour later.My mind is empty of cares and I think of Max.
Towards the end of the book Max starts to miss home and knowing me I would too. I will have to climb back into the little boat and sail for home; across the waves with the wind to keep me company. The boat could land me at the foot of my bed with a smile on my face I'll step from the boat and know I have returned to home and life with a lower case "L"
G o ahead and send me to my room today,I'll be just fine there with my books and dreams of sailing off to ditant shores to my island with no monsters.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Like Running Horses
That's me "Like Running Horses" you see that's what my name means.And like running horse this blog is a place for me to run words across the page like those said horses.Rambling along telling my tales.
You see my other blog is not the place to just write,it's where I share my homesteading life with the world.Like Running Horses will be my thoughts and a venue for my creative side.
Come along on my story,can't say it will always be good but a story none the less.
And with that I say... I'll tell you a story of Jack Anory and now my story's begun.I'll tell you another of Jack and his brother and (for now) my story is done.
Until next time
Rois
You see my other blog is not the place to just write,it's where I share my homesteading life with the world.Like Running Horses will be my thoughts and a venue for my creative side.
Come along on my story,can't say it will always be good but a story none the less.
And with that I say... I'll tell you a story of Jack Anory and now my story's begun.I'll tell you another of Jack and his brother and (for now) my story is done.
Until next time
Rois
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