Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mary Iguana

The summer I was 7 our house burned in a fire.Not the whole house just the upper floor.Luckily for me I was not home that night.The fire started in my brothers room right next to mine,by the time he discovered the fire my room was burning too.
My brother quickly awoke my mother and they got out safe and sound.My mother later pondered how she remembered to grab her purse.A sight she must have been standing at the neighbors curb in her summer nightgown,purse on her arm and her face lit by her burning house.All the while our cranky neighbor was nagging her about the mess this was causing and when would she clean up.It was the crazy ,drug dealing, biker neighbor who came to the rescue,called the fire department,brought blankets and called my aunt. Never over look a biker when you are in need, a family motto that works even when you have a flat tire.
Also some place in those chaotic moments the dog,cat and the schools iguana were all found and kept safe. Yup, I said Iguana and this is her tale or maybe it's mine about the summer she lived with us.
My mom could be easy going about animals and never said no to any of them.Not the baby opossum,the snake I lost in the house,mice or any other beast. So when my brother came to her pleading to keep the iguana for the summer,the iguana no other parent would say yes to of course our mother said yes. If she only knew the summer we were about to have I wonder would she have said yes? Hindsight it would be so much more useful if, it was really foresight.
Growing up my parents were hippies of their own kind.I grew up knowing what marijuana was and even offered our neighbor a joint at the tender age of 4.Little did I know that well, you offer neighbors coffee or tea not pot. I also had the habit of confusing words for each other.(maybe it was my parents pot that did it I don't know.)For example in our kitchen we had wall paper with chickens and cottages on it.Ok in my mind kitchen and chicken were switchable,we had both after all.And then there was cottage and cottage cheese.Silly grown ups it's cottage cheese house. So you get it right?
This all led to my naming the iguana Mary. As in Marijuana - Mary Iguana it made sense in my head and it got lots of chuckles so it must have been good.
Life with Mary was an adventure.My mother should have been a founder of an animal rights group,"cages are so unfair" she'd say,"would you like to live in your room and never come out?" Well no mom, not really.So Mary would be let out of her cage to roam the living room. She loved to lie on the back of the sofa slightly hidden by the pillows,basking in the sun like any lizard would do.Here's the tricky part to this,before you sat down you had to check for Mary.If you did not you'd get a whip of her sharp tail across your unsuspecting face. Ever see a photo of an iguana's tail? They have those little ridges on them like the cartoon dino's do and they hurt.
Mary also shredded the curtains.Hanging out on the rods was another, safer, spot she like to be.Mom had five million plants in front of the window perfect lizard hang out,up high,sun is shinning and vegetation galore.
Then our house burned 4 weeks into Mary's visit.Where did we go while the house was rebuilt? A motel,A single room,my mom,my brother,Mary and me. (the dog and cat stayed with my aunt.) Once the maids found out exactly what was in that cage in the corner only one of them would dare to come in to clean.Charming, visitors who scare the hell out of the staff. I think at this point my mother had snapped out of her animal rights fog because Mary stayed in her cage the whole time we lived at the motel. I don't think mom ever caught wind of the day she was out and I had to talk my brother out of taking Mary to the motel pool with us.
Summer did end and my brother and I returned to our schools. Later on I went to the middle school my brother went to and they still had the Living Lab ( Not a Lab for experiments more like a big pet shop.We lived in the inner city and someone got the idea inner city kids needed to know about all these creatures.) with all these animals that most sane parents say no to.The teacher remembered our family,who would not? Hey,it's the sucker family who took the iguana home for the summer ! Great way to be remembered. I never once stepped a foot in the door of that room.No way, no how was I going to bring home anything for any amount of time.Besides Mary was gone her replacement Julius Squeezer the 10 foot long Boa.Could you imagine my mother and her thoughts on animals in cages? I loved my cat and wanted to keep him not provide Julius a snack.